Three reasons why you need your own Tribe and how you go about finding it. Or Them.

One week ago

If you lived in pre-historic times the word Tribe might mean something completely different to what it does today. Or maybe it’s not that far off from the way we view a Tribe today.

Google or rather the Cambridge dictionary defines the word Tribe as “ a group of people, often of related families, who live together, sharing the same languageculture, and historyespecially those who do not live in towns or cities.”

 So how do you determine who or what your Tribe is? Does it consist of your family? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your schoolmates?

And importantly why do you need to form your own Tribe?

And if you already have your own Tribe but none of your family members are in it, are you in trouble?

Before we delve into the why’s of why you need your own Tribe, lets decipher what it is, and maybe that will help you figure out if you have one, or if you think you have one but you’re not a 100% sure.

Barring the above, slightly prehistoric definition of Tribe (albeit necessary in that era), a Tribe can consist of virtually anyone that you want to put into to it. No pun intended on the word ‘virtually’ seeing as how most of us now have an almost dual existence. We won’t go into which of those worlds you spend more time in, because everyone’s definition of reality is highly subjective.

When it comes to creating and defining your Tribe you can pick and choose the people whom you feel you want to be around most. You get to pick whomever you want.

But choose carefully. You don’t just want people similar to you- in fact the more diverse your Tribe is the better it is for your personal growth. Even if you don’t care for that right now, you might in the near or distant future.

If you think about it you probably don’t hang out with the same friends that you did in your teens, except for one or two. It’s not that you don’t want to keep in touch but your lives have taken you in different paths. And that’s totally fine. Because as humans we were never meant to be stagnant; standing in the same place. Like rivers we move with the currents; therein lies the excitement of the journey.

If by now you’re not yet convinced on the almost necessity of having your own Tribe perhaps the next 3 reasons might help steer you in that direction. Or if you’ve already found your Tribe you can wisely nod your head in agreement.

Number One: Your Trible is your go-to for comfort and support.

No matter what line of work you’re in, where you’re from, who your family (blood family), you know you can depend on a certain group of members to stand by you- no matter what happens to you.

They are your metaphorical family- the ones you get to choose. It’s been said that blood is thicker than water but the ties of choice are equally strong, if not stronger. Which is a rather wonderful concept especially if your blood family is less than desirable.

Number Two: Your Tribe challenges you to be better in every way.

And they don’t do it by comparing you to others around you. They see who you are, and they see how far you can go.

They challenge you and push you – sometimes to the point of discomfort- but isn’t that when growth happens? When you move outside your comfort zone? We all have blind spots about ourselves and it takes another to point them out to us. You should be able to count on your Tribe to do this for you.

Number Three: Your Tribe expands.

By expand I mean the number of people in your Tribe can grow. Because as I mentioned earlier we were never meant to be stagnant, we have to keep moving. Life is this dynamic stream that keeps flowing, never stops and your Tribe are the people on your boat/canoe/kayak; whatever you choose to keep you afloat.

Along the way some members of your Tribe might choose to move away; which is fine because if a Tribe is no longer serving you then you need to evaluate and decide if you want to stay in it. Or find one that serves you.

So there you have it; three reasons why you need a Tribe. Or if you already have one then make sure your Tribe serves you, as you also serve it. It should always be a win-win for everyone in it; otherwise it defeats the very purpose of having a Tribe.

And one more thing; when it comes to your Tribe leave your ego at home. Or better yet get rid of it entirely because it has no place in any kind of relationship that you choose – business or personal.

The answer to the second part of the headline, “….on how you go about finding It or Them” is pretty easy. Almost self-explanatory in fact. You can find them everywhere; at home, at school, at your workplace, on a holiday.

It doesn’t really matter where; what matters is that you find one that fits you.

Picture courtesy of Photo by Nathaniel Tetteh on Unsplash